I’ve had a noise problem recently. Well, not just recently, but recently it’s got worse; it’s been happening for over a year and I’ve been somewhat in denial. I’ve been suffering from something we all suffer from eventually (be it our bikes or elsewhere) and that’s annoying creaking noises!
It starts as a little squeak, maybe just when rising from the saddle. You ignore it, dismiss it as inconsequential. But with each subsequent ride it grows in power, gradually taking hold of your subconscious. Eventually, it gains full dominance over its host. Every ride becomes a mental exercise in repressing the demon; focusing on the road ahead; trying to move forward to a place where, maybe, silence will return. It then begins to extend beyond its host and infect the minds of others. As you approach other riders they start to look, first at their own machines, and then at the riders around them, as they attempt to identify the origin of the gremlin. On pinpointing the source they begin to drift away as if fearing being infected. Someone may comment, but this is not really sociable in intent, just an attempt to transcend the denial; admit the elephant in the room. They soon also slide away from you and your progressive insanity. Yes, you’re that person. We’ve all seen them labouring away, their clattering keeping them quarantined from those around like a leper’s bell. No matter how strong they may be their progress seems inefficient, and everyone else can always find an extra couple of watts to keep distance.
So what do you do about it?
Well, as anyone who has encountered this already knows, it can be far from straightforward. The first tool in your armoury – common sense – can send you spiralling in circles of madness. Your bike, your favourite thing, reliable and constant, is actually just another of the devil’s tools to be used to distress and confuse you. The seemingly obvious place to address the noise source i.e. where the sound seems to be coming from is actually the last place you should look. Unless of course, you take this advice in which case this will be the last place you look and should, of course, have been the first – idiot!
Creaking noises when you pedal should be coming from the pedals, crank or bottom bracket, right? I mean that’s where the sound is coming from. No, it would appear not. You start at the source and move outward, accumulating steadily more expense and despair as you go. Let this frenzied obsession go unchecked and you may have replaced almost the entire bike before you realise the benefit of tightening that stem bolt to the correct torque. Mind you, on the bright side, now you just need to buy a new set of handlebars and you’ve got enough spare parts to build another bike that will be just as good as your old one!
Except for that annoying bloody creaking noise…
